Camera
by outerelf
Summary: Red Alerts got a special camera, with a special story behind it. oneshot


Red Alert was furious at the twins. The twins were horrified and aghast at themselves, and Inferno found himself in the middle of the warring family. "I told you two to never mention it!"

"We couldn't really help it! That guy would've turned your reputation into tattered shreds otherwise!"

"But THAT?"

"What would've you preferred?"

"Something a little less threatening! Now we can't even work in the same room without him twitching like mad and muttering!"

"Well know you know how the rest of the Ark feels!"

"But he's afraid of what you told him! Something I haven't done for vorns!" Red Alert shouted, exasperated. "Besides, I can take care of myself! I spent my entire life before the war without you two-"

The twins flinched, and Prime rounded the corner. "What's going on here?"

"Nothing." Came the three instant replies from the Lamborghinis. Optimus Prime looked at the three, and then at Inferno who simply shrugged.

Inferno had no idea what was going on. He had arrived too late, and all three had avoided calling whatever Red Alert had done by name. Optimus Prime said slowly, "I've never seen Red Alert yell at the twins for no reason."

Red Alerts optics narrowed as he snarled, "Then you should get your auditory receptors fixed. I've yelled at them for nothing plenty of times."

Primes own optic ridge rose, but Red Alert was angry and he didn't notice. "You two, clear out. I'll talk to you later."

The twins left, glancing back every now and then over their shoulders as if they expected Red Alert to throw himself on Prime and kill him. Prime said softly, "You've been harsher with them lately."

Inferno looked away at that. He knew the truth. With the twins and Red Alert hiding their relationship, the only time they got to talk was when the twins were being punished. So thus, the seemingly extra harsh duties with Red Alert supervising them, that was actually just family get together time.

Red Alert took a deep breath and said, 'I know sir. But their pranks-"

"Haven't been that much to warrant your harshness this much."

Inferno thought they _had_ especially since now, whenever the twins wished to even _talk_ to Red Alert they would prank him in some spectacular way. That would cause a lot of trouble for Red Alert, and Prowl, because sometimes it was Prowl who got there first, and the twins would demand Red Alert, dragging Red Alert out of a sound recharge or out of Infernos grasp. He was getting tired of this, but Red Alert stubbornly kept it up, and from what Inferno could tell, the twins were more then willing to keep it up as well.

"What would you like me to do then?" Red Alerts tone conveyed very much what he was thinking. Prime had no idea what he was saying so he'd better stay _out_ of it.

"Why not try to get them to cut back on their pranks in exchange for less punishments or something. Surely their can be some way for you to discourage the pranking!"

"You woke up to find your room flooded again, didn't you?" Red Alert said dryly.

Optimus Prime optics shuttered, and his jaw dropped. "How- how-"

"I could guess." Red Alert said, his bad temper beginning to fade. Inferno wondered if Red Alert was taking some kind of diverse humor from this, and judging from Primes face, he was trying to decide that as well.

Red Alert waved one hand as he said, "Very well, I'll work something out with them."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker nursed their cps of energon as they glared at all who attempted to come near. "Don't see why Red Alert doesn't want us talking about it."

"Yeah, he threatened us with that more then once."

"Maybe with Inferno around he doesn't want to tell that anymore?"

"Maybe, but still-"

"Sideswipe, Sunstreaker!"

The entire Ark turned to look at Red Alert standing in the door. Red Alert never visited the cafeteria when it was full unless he needed Inferno, and he had just called the twins. Red Alerts optics locked with the twins, and with a sigh they got up.

"So maybe threatening the newbie whom Red Alerts supposed to be training with that threat isn't such a good idea."

Red Alert beckoned briskly to them as he walked down the hallways, headed towards the security room. "Prime wants you two to start cutting back, so you two are going to have to come up with other ways to get my attention."

They entered into the security room where the new person where Red Alert was attempting to train for security jumped nervously. The twins fixed the newbie with an almost angry look. Both could remember how many insults had been thrown at Red Alert to his face, and Red Alert had just calmly sat through it. The twins, passing by, couldn't let _anyone_ get away with calling their older brother that, and had told him the same threat they had gotten in the second week of knowing Red Alert.

The newbie said something, and Red Alert frowned, looking at the camera, and then pointed. "The wires are crossed. You'll need to switch them."

"Why do I need to do this?" he newbie asked, eyeing Red Alert. "I mean, don't we get our cameras fixed somewhere else?"

"What happens when the engineer is out, or when he's killed? The camera isn't going to fix itself, and you'll need it up as soon as possible. And, when you have pranksters like the Ark has pranksters, you'll be glad enough."

The new mech optics shuttered fast as he nodded. Then he turned back to the cameras, casually switching the wires. Red Alerts optics narrowed, and said suddenly, "Of course, I'm having you fix the regular cameras. The Ark has specially designed cameras."

Only Red Alerts optic caught the slight stiffening and the scowl of irritation that flashed across the mechs face. _Is he- NO! I'm not going into conspiracy theories now. I need to concentrate-_ Red Alert thought quickly, glitch screaming it was a decepticon, his CPU not doing much better.

The twins shifted beside him, and he realized that he had been staring at the mech closely for nearly three nano-clicks too long. Quickly he turned away, gesturing to the twins. "Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, you know my special camera, go and get it for me? I've been needing to clean it up, and it's the closest to a regular camera we've got."

The twins left, moving eagerly to pull down the 'special' camera. "Is-is that the camera made of-"

"Yes, it is."

Inferno entered at that moment, carrying two cubes. "Well Red Alert, you're the talk of the cafeteria right now. Everyone was stunned when you appeared in the middle of a full cafeteria."

"Hmmmm, I needed the twins."

"So, what did you do to them?"

"I told them to get one of my cameras-"

Kaboom! "And there we go. I'll show the newbie how to put it together from near scratch, and then destroy the camera he just fixed and watch him put it together."

"Ah… You actually let the twins blow up a camera? And how did they know you wanted it blown up?"

Red Alert merely smirked as he sipped at his own energon cube. Inferno looked at the newbie, and suddenly asked, "What's your name?"

"Dancespace." The mech muttered.

"That sounds like a femme name." Sunstreaker said, holding the destroyed camera under one arm.

Dancespace glared as he snarled, "my creators were over romantic, alright? Remember that novel hit about 90 vorns back, just before the war began? That's what they named me after."

Sideswipe grinned as he said, "I knew I recognized that name from somewhere."

Red Alert said nothing, merely beckoning the twins over with the destroyed camera. The twins set the pieces down, and Red Alert scanned it quickly, then turned to look at the two. "Twins… theirs a couple pieces missing."

They looked at each other, and then back at him. "We gave you all of the pieces."

Red Alert frowned, glaring at the camera. "You certain? I know its missing a few wires-"

"Maybe we melted them?"

"No, this camera is designed to stand great blasts of heat then the bomb you were using to explode it."

Red Alerts optics narrowed, "However-"

SMASH! Screeches of pain sounded from the door as Red Alert pressed a button, sliding it shut the rest of the way. "Jazz might know what happened to them."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"So, what did you two threaten the newbie with anyways?"

"His names Dancerspace-" chuckles and snorts of mirth were quickly masked "-and Red Alert doesn't want us spreading that story."

"And you're actually going to listen?"

"Either that or a vorn in the brig and all of our blackmail be broadcasted to the decepticons as well as the Autobots. He threatened to go as far as the neutrals."

Winces went around the room, and Sunstreaker scowled, "That little punk is dead meat as soon as Prime and Prowl aren't looking."

"I think Infernos already got a claim."

"Too bad. He's not moving fast enough-"

BAM! CRUNCH! "You wanna say that again!" Came Inferno infuriated roar, and Primes voice could be heard saying, "Wait, Inferno!"

The Ark was instantly up and running towards the voices.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Inferno easily held the slightly larger mech off the ground as he glared at Dancerspace. "You want to say that louder?" Inferno snarled, even though he had heard it just fine.

Dancerspace choked as Infernos hand squeezed the air intake pumps. "No!" He squeaked.

Prime roared at Inferno, "Put him down!"

Infernos furious gaze switched to Prime, and Inferno growled in anger as he dropped the mech. Faces appeared around the corner as the Arks crew appeared on the scene, each of them whispering to each other, asking what was going on. Prime comm. Red Alert, snapping, "Come drag Inferno to the brig. I will not condone fighting on the Ark especially not in the middle of the hallways!"

Their was silence on the other end, and everyone wondered what Red Alert was going to do. Red Alert stuttered, "But, sir! I-I"

"Red Alert, drag Inferno down now, and tell Prowl to get over here."

"Yes sir." Red Alerts voice was hesitant and slightly sullen, and Dancerspace smirked behind Primes back, whispering low enough that Prime couldn't hear him as he said, "I guess what they say about him not feeling anything is true-"

Infernos saw red for a split moment as he picked up and threw the mech at Grimlocks head. Grimlock ducked, and the mech slammed into the wall. Prime stood, surprised at the amount of violence Inferno was displaying. "You ever say that again about Red Alert, even so much as hint about it, I swear Decepticons torture will look like a feather tickling when I am through with ya." Inferno snarled, his accent becoming so thick it was hard to understand him. "And I swear I will not rest until you are nothing more then a pile of _scrap_."

Red Alert appeared at that moment, shoving his way through the crowd, Prowl close behind him. "What's going on here-"

Red Alert stopped, looking at Dancerspace, and then nodded to Prowl. Prowl subspaced a pair of handcuffs and snapped it on. Dancerspace opened his mouth to protest his innocence when Prime interrupted, "Red Alert, Prowl, he's a decepticon?"

"Yessir. We just searched his room and found several pads that were to be sent to Megatron, and we confiscated them"

Dancerspace cursed as Prowl wrenched him to his feet, and Red Alert looked at Inferno. "Under the circumstances sir, I don't think putting anyone in the brig would be the best idea."

The twins looked at each other and grinned. "I propose Inferno instead help the twins clean up a room with me supervising."

Winces went around the Ark except for Inferno and the twins. They had been expecting that, and Prime sighed, waving a hand. "Very well. Who's to take care of the paperwork?"

"You of course." Red Alert and Prowl said with straight faces. You're the only one suitable for such things. Prowl and I are to be working on other details, so you are the only one with high enough clearance that doesn't have any work." Prime spluttered, but Red Alert was correct.

"Very well." Prime grumbled. "I'll get it done."

Red Alert gestured to the twins and Inferno, leading the way out as Prowl dragged Dancerspace off. "By the way-" Inferno said, "Twins, what was the story you told Dancerspace?"

"Well," The twins began, and Red Alert stopped. "You see that camera? I just recently put it back together andrestuck it back up."

Inferno looked up at it, and saw a very odd camera. It had mismatched pieces, and the lens looked more like an optic torn out. "That camera-" Red Alert said quietly, well aware that the Arks crew was listening. "Was made out of decepticons that snuck into the base and tried to spy on me. I caught them, dismantled them, and cobbled together a camera in my spare time."

Shivers went down the crews spinal nerve as they backed away from various peep holes and eavesdropping areas. "I wonder if I can convince Ratchet to help me find the perfect wire in the decepticon."

The Arks crew went running, so they never heard Inferno ask, "Is that true Red?"

"Nah, it isn't. It's actually five cameras that exploded into just enough pieces to make one camera, and I created that story to keep others in line."

SsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsssSsSsS

Not sure where this came from, but I'm sure that I'll figure it out sometime soon. Until then, I hope you enjoy, and if you don't, you know what sort of person I am. So why bother reading? XP


End file.
